When I was a kid I had a purple radio / tape player that I used constantly. Whether I was listening to the radio and calling the station 8651567812 times to request a New Kids on the Block song or listening to one of my favorite mix tapes, I can always remember a constant feeling: that I never could get close enough to the music. I would lay my head right against that purple speaker and listen to these songs that I loved so much... but even still, that wasn't close enough. I could hear the music in my ears, I could feel the beat in my chest, and I could feel the lyrics make their way into my soul but I always, always, always wanted more. I guess that was my way of learning at a young age how powerful music can be.
I've been going through a rough time this last week... a week that's been filled with a lot of tears, fears, and medical terms that I never wanted to hear. I'm not much of a talker when I'm in the midst of a hard time... actually I'm not a talker at all. I think and then I write, that's my therapy, that's my way of letting things out. Also? I listen to music.
Being on the go so often, I don't get a chance to listen to music as much as I used to. Sure, the radio is always on in the car but I don't truly listen, at least not like I used to. But this week, in the middle of the madness, I've found myself comforted by my favorite music and I truly couldn't be more grateful. I've laid on my couch with my ear covering a speaker, just like I did 20 years ago. And that feeling of not being able to get close enough to the music was still there... and for that I'm truly thankful, too. What a gift it is to have music touch you so deeply that you can't ever get enough.
I'd probably bore you if I listed all the songs I've been listening to that really hit me right now, but this is one of my favorites. I'd actually almost completely forgotten about this song and happened upon it a couple of days ago... perfect timing...